happiness, blessings, and just general awesomness

I think it is important to constantly remind myself of the blessings in my life. I know that sometimes it is hard to focus on the good. Believe me, sometimes all I want to do is pout in a corner and tell God how horrible I think things are on planet Earth. Sometimes I am sad, sometimes I am sick, sometimes I am heartbroken, sometimes I feel inadequate, sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel unloved, and sometimes I feel just plain ANGRY for no reason or the biggest of reasons. However, we were never promised a perfect existence here on Earth. This is a fallen world. We tend to forget that and wonder why, if we believe in God (or don't), our lives aren't magically blissful, awesome, and problem free. I mean I am not trying to be a negative nancy. OF COURSE there are wonderful moments. This life can be so beautiful if you focus on the beauty. Thats my point really. Focus on the beauty. Focus on the Lord and you will be surprised how much your perspective will change. Even on the darkest of days.

Anywhoozer, all that to say...here is my list of happiness, blessing, and awesomeness in my life.
1. I have wonderful family. wonderful. Really, I could thank God for my family, every minute of my life and still never thank him enough. I am not just saying this because my family reads my blog or I want a present (barnes and noble giftcards are always accepted). Although that would be cool. God really has freely given me the most supportive, outwardly loving, patient, and super fun family. Thanks God.

2. I have wonderful friends. All types of friends. Thats the greatest part. All of my friends are so different and I have such a unique relationship with each of them. I love them all so much. so much.

3. I am going to be an aunt this year. If you know me, you know how much I adore babies and children. I have been secretly hoping I would be an aunt for 3 years now. I literally cried when they told me. I am so excited and I know Lauren and Josh will be awesome parents. This baby will be loved completely.

4. Access to education. I am blessed by the opportunity to learn at a higher level. I know I have been in school awhile and I will be for a little longer (sorry daddy-o) I try to remain grateful for the opportunity. Even though I wish I were done, I have to know what a gift it is. There are many that never have the opportunity.

5. My puppy! He really is precious. I am not an obsessive animal person or anything but I am obsessed with him. He is awesome. I'll prove it to you. Come over and I will show you how snuggly, loving, and well behaved he is. :)

6. My car! I love the stang. We have been together now for 7 years. I love the way she smells.

7.  Books. I love books. I want to write a book.

8. Candy. I love candy so, so, so much. Too bad I am a diabetic.

9. Wendy's twisted frosty (with chocolate chip cookie dough). Oh. My. Goodness. So good. So good.

10. I am grateful for my jobs. I work with children every day, whether I am at Sound Start, school, nannying, or kids city (lateChurch children's program -its volunteer, not work actually). I learn a lot from them. Sometimes they drive me nuts but they keep my life interesting.

11. I am grateful for music. Music has a way of helping me deal and cope. Music helps me to express the way I feel about people, love, situations and just life. Whether its sad or happy. I love to dance too. I am horrible at it but I love it. I also like singing but I am horrible at that too.

12. Panera bread. I am here now so I feel like I owe them a shout out.

13. I know this is weird, but I am grateful for my health issues. My disease has built my character, my strength, and my hope. I have met many people because of my illness also. Without my illness, I simply would not be the woman I am today.

14. I am grateful for people that are nerdy, weird, unique, funny, or posess other unique qualities. It is really refreshing to be around people that are okay with who they are, even if they are "different". 

Of course, I am grateful for my relationship with the Lord. I feel like on this blog, that goes without saying. However, I still want to give my main man upstairs a shout out. He is the source of all of this awesomeness. Without him, I simply would not be. What are you grateful for?

my belated obligatory christmas post

Well helloooooo there my faithful blog peeps. I wish I could say that the reason I have not posted in awhile is because I have been super duper busy and  I just have not sat down in weeks. yeahhhhh right. The real reason is because I have not been in school. My ultimate form of procrastination is writing things OTHER than my school assignments. You see, I would much rather be writing whatever I dang well please. Not research type writing (don't tell my professors). Alas, the school owns my mind. Anywho...I am back in school and I have another assignment due so of course  I am writing a blog post. Moving on.

 A few weeks ago I wanted to write a blog post having to do with Mary (Jesus's mother!)...the reason for the reason for the season. (in a literal, biological sense. its catchy huh? haha. actually that saying rhymes too much for me) Well I wanted to do this Mary post at the appropriate time, Christmas, but I lost track of my mind. Since I am stubborn, I have decided to still write about Mary because I want to. Also, Mary's story and the lessons learned from her experiences are not just appropriate at Christmas time.

First off...have you ever thought about how crazy it would be to have a baby without ever having sex?? I mean I hate to get all sex talk on ya but...when a man loves a woman and that woman loves the man they.....you get it. Can you imagine being Mary's age (teenie bopper) and having to explain to your parents that the Holy Spirit impregnated you?? I mean really? Seriously though, I would have politely replied to the angel that came in the night, "um, no thanks angel. I really don't want to carry God's baby. I'm good. I'm busy, I have plans this weekend, and there is this cute guy I like and I don't want him to think I am a harlot. I just really want to live an average life and mind my own business. Go find someone else." That is not how Mary replied though. Amazing.

The Bible does say that Mary was "confused and disturbed" (Luke 1:29) trying to figure out how this was possible. It totally blew her mind. Yeah, Mary...me too. However, the difference between her reaction and mine was she replied "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true." (Luke 1:38). ummmm wow. Mary accepted the ultimate challenge from God. A few verses down from the angel scene (Luke) is one of my favorite passages from the entire Bible. Mary's song of praise. It goes a little something like this:
"Oh how my soul praises the Lord.
How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
For the Mighty One is holy,
and has done great things for me.
He shows mercy from generation to generation
to all who fear him.
His mighty arm has done tremendous things!
He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
He has brought down princes from their thrones
and exalted the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
and sent the rich away with empty hands.
He has helped his servant Israel
and remembered to be merciful.
For he made this promise to our ancestors,
to Abraham and his children forever."
Luke 1:46-55

I know its a long passage but everytime I read it and put it into context, I am simply amazed. Mary had recently been told that she was to carry a baby that was not her own. She would carry a stigma. People would inevitably talk about her. People would stare. People would laugh at her and mock her. She might lose her fiance, Joseph. These were just the immediate consequences of her decision to accept God's challenge. The biggest long term consequence as a mother would be to watch your son die. Never being a mother, I cannot imagine the pain she felt watching her son being mocked and murdered. Yes, her son became the Savior of the world but before that she watched him hang and die a slow, painful death. I just cannot imagine that. What a sacrifice Mary made. I would not have been excited and joyful as Mary was. I would not turn my fears into praise. How impossible that seems.
Although there were serious pains and consequences, she was also infinitely blessed for following the Lord. Elizabeth (John the Baptist's mama), put it best, "Mary, you are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said." (Luke 1:45) Mary believed the Lord, followed the Lord and most of all, trusted the Lord. She did not understand God's will or his plan but she trusted that He was good. Mary trusted that his will was divine.  

This story always allows for some inner reflection into my own decisions and challenges. How willing am I to do whatever it takes to follow the Lord? If God sent an angel to me tonight (HOW COOOOL!), asking me to do this crazy task in order to live out his will for my life, what would I do? Am I excited and joyful about what he has planned, even if it means a tough journey? I want to be. I want to live out my ultimate purpose in this world.

The crazy thing is, our purposes are just as important as Mary's purpose. We all have a part in our Mighty Father's awesome, sovreign plan. I am ready and willing to answer the high calling of the Lord. Even if it means being ridiculed, made fun of or talked about like Mary was. Even if it means bearing the weight of the world. Its all possible with Christ. We aren't alone in it, thats for sure.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.
psalm 37:57

Happy New Year my peeps! Love you all.
p.s. Speaking of babies, I am going to be an AUNT!!! What a beautiful gift. I am so excited! (obviously) Please keep Lauren, Josh, and precious baby-to-be in your prayers! I am praying every day not only for health and happiness but I am praying that little baby will know the love of our heavenly father. This baby is already loved by me but mostly by our Lord. He already knows and infintely loves little baby more than any of us could. :)