But wait...I'm not on spring break. Huh?! Say Whaaa?! (more on this later..) And no, that picture is not actually of me. Not like I ever spent time "hanging ten"on my past spring breaks anyway but that is not the point. So as you learned in my last post, I am having major surgery next month (NEXT month?! eeek. deep breaths, deep breaths) and was in the hospital for most of february and just now starting to get back to 'normal'.
Therefore, after much prayer and discussion with my family and professors, I have decided to take a medical withdrawal from this semester of grad school. Which because of the way my specific program is designed, I have to take courses in a rotation. I also cannot be placed in my externships without certain prerequisites. So basically how that works out for me is...I can't go back until next spring. Gulp.
What you must understand about me is this, I am one of the most goal driven, plan-based people you will ever meet. Ever. Meet. I must have a "purpose" and a "plan". For the past 6 years, and really my whole life, my purpose (as far as careers etc go...not my purpose as a human.) has been education and work. So this whole, "taking a break from school to focus on my health" thing is completely outside of my realm of comfort. Completely. Cue anxiety and sweaty pits. Yes, people I sweat when I am nervous.
Taking a detour from said "plan" also breaks my heart. I worked very hard to get here. And by 'here' I mean get my undergraduate degree (it took me quite awhile to complete undergraduate because of the stinky chronic illness) and then get into graduate school. It has been my dream, for the past 7 years, to finish school and have a career, despite all of this medical stuff. So...naturally I am a little perturbed that this is not all going according to my "plan". I can imagine God finds all this amusing. My plan making and such. "Oh Dana, you and your silly life plans. If you only knew what I have planned". He also probably finds it amusing that I am quoting these words like its seriously something he 'said'...but I digress.
However, I do have a peace and an understanding about the fact that all of these things, including the rotten timing of this illness and surgery, are for a higher purpose. I also can, with the strength of my faithful God and the amazing people in my life, handle this. God's timing is perfect and divine. He is never wrong. Never. So I do trust that this will work out. However, I am still heartbroken and terrified. I am so frustratingly human.
This is a season of life I never expected to walk through. However, this next season is just that....a season. It shall pass.
Many people have been asking, the surgery is scheduled for April 18th. My family and I are truly grateful for all of the prayers, support, and encouragement we have received. We are in awe of how wonderful everyone has been. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I will pay you all in air hugs! :)
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