happiness, blessings, and just general awesomness

I think it is important to constantly remind myself of the blessings in my life. I know that sometimes it is hard to focus on the good. Believe me, sometimes all I want to do is pout in a corner and tell God how horrible I think things are on planet Earth. Sometimes I am sad, sometimes I am sick, sometimes I am heartbroken, sometimes I feel inadequate, sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel unloved, and sometimes I feel just plain ANGRY for no reason or the biggest of reasons. However, we were never promised a perfect existence here on Earth. This is a fallen world. We tend to forget that and wonder why, if we believe in God (or don't), our lives aren't magically blissful, awesome, and problem free. I mean I am not trying to be a negative nancy. OF COURSE there are wonderful moments. This life can be so beautiful if you focus on the beauty. Thats my point really. Focus on the beauty. Focus on the Lord and you will be surprised how much your perspective will change. Even on the darkest of days.

Anywhoozer, all that to say...here is my list of happiness, blessing, and awesomeness in my life.
1. I have wonderful family. wonderful. Really, I could thank God for my family, every minute of my life and still never thank him enough. I am not just saying this because my family reads my blog or I want a present (barnes and noble giftcards are always accepted). Although that would be cool. God really has freely given me the most supportive, outwardly loving, patient, and super fun family. Thanks God.

2. I have wonderful friends. All types of friends. Thats the greatest part. All of my friends are so different and I have such a unique relationship with each of them. I love them all so much. so much.

3. I am going to be an aunt this year. If you know me, you know how much I adore babies and children. I have been secretly hoping I would be an aunt for 3 years now. I literally cried when they told me. I am so excited and I know Lauren and Josh will be awesome parents. This baby will be loved completely.

4. Access to education. I am blessed by the opportunity to learn at a higher level. I know I have been in school awhile and I will be for a little longer (sorry daddy-o) I try to remain grateful for the opportunity. Even though I wish I were done, I have to know what a gift it is. There are many that never have the opportunity.

5. My puppy! He really is precious. I am not an obsessive animal person or anything but I am obsessed with him. He is awesome. I'll prove it to you. Come over and I will show you how snuggly, loving, and well behaved he is. :)

6. My car! I love the stang. We have been together now for 7 years. I love the way she smells.

7.  Books. I love books. I want to write a book.

8. Candy. I love candy so, so, so much. Too bad I am a diabetic.

9. Wendy's twisted frosty (with chocolate chip cookie dough). Oh. My. Goodness. So good. So good.

10. I am grateful for my jobs. I work with children every day, whether I am at Sound Start, school, nannying, or kids city (lateChurch children's program -its volunteer, not work actually). I learn a lot from them. Sometimes they drive me nuts but they keep my life interesting.

11. I am grateful for music. Music has a way of helping me deal and cope. Music helps me to express the way I feel about people, love, situations and just life. Whether its sad or happy. I love to dance too. I am horrible at it but I love it. I also like singing but I am horrible at that too.

12. Panera bread. I am here now so I feel like I owe them a shout out.

13. I know this is weird, but I am grateful for my health issues. My disease has built my character, my strength, and my hope. I have met many people because of my illness also. Without my illness, I simply would not be the woman I am today.

14. I am grateful for people that are nerdy, weird, unique, funny, or posess other unique qualities. It is really refreshing to be around people that are okay with who they are, even if they are "different". 

Of course, I am grateful for my relationship with the Lord. I feel like on this blog, that goes without saying. However, I still want to give my main man upstairs a shout out. He is the source of all of this awesomeness. Without him, I simply would not be. What are you grateful for?

my belated obligatory christmas post

Well helloooooo there my faithful blog peeps. I wish I could say that the reason I have not posted in awhile is because I have been super duper busy and  I just have not sat down in weeks. yeahhhhh right. The real reason is because I have not been in school. My ultimate form of procrastination is writing things OTHER than my school assignments. You see, I would much rather be writing whatever I dang well please. Not research type writing (don't tell my professors). Alas, the school owns my mind. Anywho...I am back in school and I have another assignment due so of course  I am writing a blog post. Moving on.

 A few weeks ago I wanted to write a blog post having to do with Mary (Jesus's mother!)...the reason for the reason for the season. (in a literal, biological sense. its catchy huh? haha. actually that saying rhymes too much for me) Well I wanted to do this Mary post at the appropriate time, Christmas, but I lost track of my mind. Since I am stubborn, I have decided to still write about Mary because I want to. Also, Mary's story and the lessons learned from her experiences are not just appropriate at Christmas time.

First off...have you ever thought about how crazy it would be to have a baby without ever having sex?? I mean I hate to get all sex talk on ya but...when a man loves a woman and that woman loves the man they.....you get it. Can you imagine being Mary's age (teenie bopper) and having to explain to your parents that the Holy Spirit impregnated you?? I mean really? Seriously though, I would have politely replied to the angel that came in the night, "um, no thanks angel. I really don't want to carry God's baby. I'm good. I'm busy, I have plans this weekend, and there is this cute guy I like and I don't want him to think I am a harlot. I just really want to live an average life and mind my own business. Go find someone else." That is not how Mary replied though. Amazing.

The Bible does say that Mary was "confused and disturbed" (Luke 1:29) trying to figure out how this was possible. It totally blew her mind. Yeah, Mary...me too. However, the difference between her reaction and mine was she replied "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true." (Luke 1:38). ummmm wow. Mary accepted the ultimate challenge from God. A few verses down from the angel scene (Luke) is one of my favorite passages from the entire Bible. Mary's song of praise. It goes a little something like this:
"Oh how my soul praises the Lord.
How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
For the Mighty One is holy,
and has done great things for me.
He shows mercy from generation to generation
to all who fear him.
His mighty arm has done tremendous things!
He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
He has brought down princes from their thrones
and exalted the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
and sent the rich away with empty hands.
He has helped his servant Israel
and remembered to be merciful.
For he made this promise to our ancestors,
to Abraham and his children forever."
Luke 1:46-55

I know its a long passage but everytime I read it and put it into context, I am simply amazed. Mary had recently been told that she was to carry a baby that was not her own. She would carry a stigma. People would inevitably talk about her. People would stare. People would laugh at her and mock her. She might lose her fiance, Joseph. These were just the immediate consequences of her decision to accept God's challenge. The biggest long term consequence as a mother would be to watch your son die. Never being a mother, I cannot imagine the pain she felt watching her son being mocked and murdered. Yes, her son became the Savior of the world but before that she watched him hang and die a slow, painful death. I just cannot imagine that. What a sacrifice Mary made. I would not have been excited and joyful as Mary was. I would not turn my fears into praise. How impossible that seems.
Although there were serious pains and consequences, she was also infinitely blessed for following the Lord. Elizabeth (John the Baptist's mama), put it best, "Mary, you are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said." (Luke 1:45) Mary believed the Lord, followed the Lord and most of all, trusted the Lord. She did not understand God's will or his plan but she trusted that He was good. Mary trusted that his will was divine.  

This story always allows for some inner reflection into my own decisions and challenges. How willing am I to do whatever it takes to follow the Lord? If God sent an angel to me tonight (HOW COOOOL!), asking me to do this crazy task in order to live out his will for my life, what would I do? Am I excited and joyful about what he has planned, even if it means a tough journey? I want to be. I want to live out my ultimate purpose in this world.

The crazy thing is, our purposes are just as important as Mary's purpose. We all have a part in our Mighty Father's awesome, sovreign plan. I am ready and willing to answer the high calling of the Lord. Even if it means being ridiculed, made fun of or talked about like Mary was. Even if it means bearing the weight of the world. Its all possible with Christ. We aren't alone in it, thats for sure.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.
psalm 37:57

Happy New Year my peeps! Love you all.
p.s. Speaking of babies, I am going to be an AUNT!!! What a beautiful gift. I am so excited! (obviously) Please keep Lauren, Josh, and precious baby-to-be in your prayers! I am praying every day not only for health and happiness but I am praying that little baby will know the love of our heavenly father. This baby is already loved by me but mostly by our Lord. He already knows and infintely loves little baby more than any of us could. :)

hospital happy list...

As some of you may know, I am once again in the glorious place known as the hospital. The hospital is, by far, my least favorite place to be in the world. Yet I seem to find myself here often. The times while I am in the hospital test my faith more than I would like for it to be tested. However, I usually learn more about my God and his faithfulness during these times than the easy times.
In order to keep myself far, far away from the doom and gloom attitude that I so easily go to, I am going to make a list. This is just a list of random things. Random, positive things that I learn, enjoy, or am grateful for while in the hospital. I will focus on the positive, praise Him in in the storm, and CHOOSE to be joyful.

My Hospital Happy List:
1. I can watch all day Law and Order SVU marathons without feeling guilty.
2. I get to literally see how much I am loved by people in my life via phone calls, flowers, cards, balloons, texts, hospital visits, facebook, emails, and much more.
3. My mom buys me new pajamas every time. I don't know why really, she just does.
4. I get to make friends with all the nurses on my hall. I know them all by now though, so its more like catching up with old friends.
5. I get to rely on God for everything.
6. I am humbled. I see how I simply cannot survive without my Lord and Savior.
7. I get to see miracles and answered prayers daily.
8. I chew lots of gum.
9. I watch lots of movies.
10. Towards the end of my hospital stay, I get to have slushies. Lots and lots of slushies. I sure do love slushies.
11. My faith is tested, I persevere, and I grow closer to Jesus.

This list was hard for me to make. It was my first instinct to create a long, long list of negative things about being sick. BUT...that is simply pointless. I will focus on the good. I trust that the Lord has a bigger plan for my life. Bigger than my chronic illness and bigger than this hospital bed. He is able, good, and faithful. I am right to trust in Him. Well then, that's all for now! Have a good day! I sure hope this post makes sense..sometimes I am a bit loopy in the hospital. :)
I love comments. Some people have told me it is hard for them to comment. If you would like to comment, comment as 'anonymous' option and if you want, leave your name in the comment. Thanks for reading!

true life: i love 'touched by an angel'

Ok, I have a confession. When I was younger (and still now) I loved the show Touched by an Angel. I know, I know its kinda lame. Seriously lame: bad acting and lame, sappy lines. But hey, its good, family friendly television with a wholesome message. What ever happened to that? I don't know. Hard to find unless you watch the Hallmark Channel. (thats where old reruns of Touched by an Angel run in case you want to know) Anywho, as a child I totally connected with this one, specific episode. I still remember the feeling I felt when I watched it the first time.

Quick recap of the story: There is this boy with a terminal illness (cystic fibrosis I believe), he is not getting any better and his doctors don't think he will live much longer. The whole story line of touched by an angel is that these three angels (Monica, Tess, and Andrew) come down and show God's compassion and love to the suffering people in the storyline. Its sweet. So in this particular episode the three angels help this boy, his best friend, and single mother deal with the fact that the little boy probably won't get better. (so sad) They help the little boy live his last days, prepare for heaven, etc.

The point of all this is that this story was an inspiration to me as a child. The fact that God's love was shown in such a dark situation really gave me hope as a child with a chronic illness. Yes, I know the story isn't necessarily true but there are little heroes all over the world much like the boy in this story. Little heroes that have more courage in the difficult trials of life than I could ever imagine having. Even though this particular story is fictional, the moral of the story is still there. God never leaves us. He provides the strength and courage we need to persevere. He also provides the love and compassion of others to help us along. He is so willing to help us through the dark moments if we just let him.

I really encourage you to watch the next two videos. They are two clips of my favorite parts from this episode I described. One has Wynonna Judd singing a song in the final scene of the show. The words to this song are so powerful. I posted them below. The next is another clip to kind of explain the episode and another song with encouraging lyrics. I know the acting is not so hot but just the message is so sweet. I pretty much cry everytime I see it (in a good way).
Well there is my embarrassing confession. Admit it, you like it too. You can't help but like Monica...with that accent and all. I think its Scottish? or British? who knows.





Lyrics
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silence
when words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify love.



I want to testify love. To be a witness in the silences when words are not enough. That should be my life mission. To show love and compassion to every person. Always keep the little ones (and their families) of the world that fight a terminal illness in your prayers. They are my heroes. Happy Sunday!

using my powers for the good

A really tough lesson I never seem to learn is the power of my words. In the past, I have subconsciously held the opinion that my words don't effect people. I thought words were only powerful when they were extremely positive or extremely negative. You know what I mean? I thought words did not impact people unless the words stood out for some specific reason. Like if I told a good friend, "You are a wonderful friend. You always think of others, you are always there for me, you bake wonderful cookies, and you always share your clothes with me." I would have thought those words would have probably stayed with this person for at least a couple of hours, if not days...because the comment stands out. Anywho, on the flip side..if I decided to be extremely negative like this, "Hey, I don't like your hair cut and that color you are wearing...eh..not really flattering on you". That comment would stand out...don't ya think? Not to mention they probably wouldn't wear that color any more. Not that I would say this to someone..those are just the kinds of words I always assumed would effect a person.

I never have taken the time to assess the power of my every word. Even ordinary words. Even words I say to myself. Every word I say is an opportunity to bring someone hope or strength. Ever looked at it that way? Me either. Thats kind of a big burden.

The Bible makes many a mention of the importance and power of our spoken words and the power of the tongue (James 3, Proverbs13:3, Proverbs 15:4 and many many more). When I was little, I was so confused what it meant when the Bible talked about our 'tongues'. I remember thinking, "Why is my tongue so powerful?? I just use it to eat. The tongue is really weird looking too. Why does God think that weird thing is so important?" Seriously, I was so literal as a kid.

As an adult, I understand why the Bible brings it up so much. There have been countless times I have been completely burned by a person's negative words. Negative words have a way of sticking with you and resurfacing at all the wrong times. When I was in high school, I had this boyfriend who was constantly telling me awful things he thought about me. Now I know those comments are all lies. Even then, I might have known the comments weren't necessarily true but it didn't stop me from believing them. Those negative ideas about myself stayed with me for years. Those simple words he probably forgot years ago, stayed with me and caused me to falsely define myself.

There is a flip side. Positive words have a way of sticking with us too. Whenever I doubt myself, I can think of encouraging words people have spoken to me. Encouraging words that a person might not have even known I desperately needed to hear.

There is a specific verse in the Bible I think of every time I need to remind myself of how important my words are:
"For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way." James 3:2
Wow. Pretty powerful huh? Our words are SO important. Our words guide our entire lives. Think about it. A simple word of encouragement can change your entire day. A few words can change the entire direction of a life. Thats why it is so important to...THINK before we SPEAK. My mother tried to teach me this as a child. I was too stubborn to get it. I still am. But I think I get the importance of it now. What I say to a person will stay with them forever. If I say a hurtful comment to a person, I can apologize a gazillion times but I can't un-say it. They already heard it and it will stay with them. You can't erase it. Gosh I wish we could.
The same theme applies when James talks about being "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry" (James 1:19). God is really clear. Think before using words. They are so powerful.

I need to learn to use this "power" for the good. Use words for the cause of the Lord. His cause is to love. Love and encourage with my words always. Easier said then done, I know. But remember....With Christ all things are possible....

be still

Patience is not really a quality that I possess. I am actually horrible at being patient, in all departments. I admit, I have horrible road rage. Just ask anyone that has ever rode in the "stang" (my car) with me or been on the phone with me while I am driving. Its really bad. I just don't understand why people drive slow. It is beyond my comprehension. Seriously..WHY would you want to go slow?? Here I go, getting all mad when I am not even in my car. I probably need therapy. haha. Not only am I inpatient in my car, I am inpatient in restaurants. I also am the most punctual person you will ever meet. When people are late, it gets on my nerves. Just being honest. I am also extremely inpatient in life too. I want things to happen when I want them to and how I want them to. I am so human. Its frustrating really.

This is a really tough subject for me to talk about because honestly, I don't want to learn patience. If I learn to be patient...won't that mean that I will be okay with waiting for things and slowing down?? Thats the way my little brain sees it. However, being patient and being still is an important concept for me to learn and accept. Not only just to plain accept waiting, but also learn to enjoy the stillness, to see beauty in the waiting times.

As I was thinking about why patience is so hard for me, I had an 'aha!' moment. Patience is so painful because a lot of the time, I don't trust God. It always comes back to that, doesn't it? I want to make things happen. I always give God things and then take it back. A lot of times I don't trust in the power of God. I don't know if it is because I think He simply can't handle it (which really is ridiculous if I think about it) or He just doesn't 'have time' for the little things.

As always, I look for lots of scripture to help me really grasp and learn what the Lord is teaching me. I found a ton of scripture on the importance of patience. (grreeaaat, means I should learn it) Anywho, the scripture made me realize patience is not something to dread. It is a hopeful and peaceful action. To put my hope in Christ and to wait for him to take action is a beautiful surrender.

"God, who gives patience and encouragement..."
Romans 15:5
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

So first, God is the one who gives me this patience. It is obviously not a natural ability for me. I must ask for and then receive this patience. When God gives patience he also gives encouragement. I will never be called to be patient in a situation and then receive no encouragement from the Lord. I will never have to just wait in silence without any comfort to get me through. God provides it all. He provides the ability to wait patiently and then he provides the love and strength to persevere through the waiting times. Thankfully, he knows my inadequacies in this department. He will provide what I need to 'be still and know that he is God' (psalm 46:1)

The second verse really opened up my eyes to the beauty and vulnerability of patience. We will be FILLED completely with JOY and PEACE when we trust in him. Gosh, he never leaves anything out, does he?? He thinks of everything! He knows that in order to be patient and to trust him, we will definitely need joy and peace. He is so good. Not only will I be waiting for him and his guidance, I will be living a life of joy and peace. A joyful, adventurous life here and now. I do not have to waste the waiting stages by constantly looking to the next stage. I will live this waiting period with excitement! Always looking for God and always living and loving the adventure he undoubtedly will provide.

The verse goes on to say that we will OVERFLOW with confident hope through the Holy Spirit. Synonyms for overflow are abound, swarm, multiply, and in large quantities. (I do love my pocket thesaurus, we are BFF) Our hope will be multiplied by the Holy Spirit. Not only hope for the future and hope that God will provide in all seasons..but a hope for TODAY. We are to be patient but patience does not have to equal dull, boring, or unhappiness. Be confident in God. Have confidence in the fact that God will answer your prayers and will hear your cries."As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me" Micah 7:7. Have that attitude in your waiting stages. What you are waiting for may be huge or small but God will come through. He always does. He will certainly hear you.

I feel lately God is teaching me like crazy. I am just trying to keep up! He is so good. He is a teacher, a friend, a beloved, a King, and my everything. He can certainly bring you adventure, love, purpose, and joy while you are patiently waiting for him. Be still, thankfully He is God and we are not.

a powerful belief

Do I believe God or do I just believe in God? Sure, they sound the same. Is there any real difference? If there is a difference, does it really matter? Is there a way to believe God more? What is there to believe other than the existence of God? All these questions have been running through my mind these past couple of days. I'll tell you what started it all: the ever looming future.  

Like many, I worry about my future. Like forreal worry. Just to name a few of my worries: Have I chosen the right career? Will I get into grad school? Will I survive this semester? Have I taken on too much? Will I ever get married? Will I ever have kids? Will my health continue to get worse? Will I ever have this picture perfect life I see others living? and most of all: Where does my money go and will I ever make enough??? (money worries are the worst) Those are just to name a few. Told you I worry...believe me now??

As I was stressing out about everything and anything, I thought...do I believe God? Do I believe what he has promised all of us throughout the Bible? I mean sure, I believe in God. I took that first step of believing he exists years ago. I believe with all my heart that my creator exists. Not only do I believe he exists, I believe he is good. I can't begin to put into words the rationale behind why I believe God exists. It comes from my soul and it overwhelms me with the truth of him. Okay, so step 1: believe God exists. Got it. step 2: I believe the Bible is true. Every word of it. As a new believer I struggled with this step. Do I have to believe everything? Are all the Old Testament stories real? Isn't it antiquated? But I came to the conclusion...the Bible is true and God's word (2 Tim 3:16) As for the old testament, I believe in Christ and He believed in a literal old testament...so I do too. (See Matt 24. Jesus refers to the days of Noah and the Ark). Okay, so got step 2 covered: I believe that the Bible is the real deal. Step 3: Do I believe everything God has promised me in the Bible? Do I believe what God says he will  and won't do? This step is a bit more fuzzy in my case.

If I believed in all God has promised, would I be so completely worried about every little thing in my life? Would I be trying so hard to create my own future and my own path because I am so scared if I don't, no one will? I don't think so.

If I did believe all God has promised I would be living one heck of a life here and now.
In Ephesians (yes, I am still on this book), Paul touches on the idea of belief and all the power we have through God.

And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God's guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. Ephesians 1:13-14
I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God's power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 1:19-20

Okay..these verses are a lot more powerful than I originally realized. If you really take time to digest what these verses mean...its incredible. It simply is amazing. Read the verses again. These promises are for you.

Paul ensures us that God has fulfilled his promises and that he will continue to fulfill his promises. He has given us the Spirit of God to guide us through this life on earth. The Spirit is a gift and a tool that we often forget. The Spirit is God's wisdom, power, and love at our very fingertips. Use it!

In the second verse, Paul emphasizes the importance of understanding the fact that when we believe in Christ, we are given God's amazing power. It is the same awesome power that raised Christ from the dead!! This power is used in our favor when we trust in Him. In Mark 9:25, Jesus says, "What do you mean, 'if I can?' Anything is possible if a person believes." In John 11:40 Jesus says, "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?" So should I believe Him? Do I believe that he can handle my future? He can handle my fears? He can handle my grad school? He can handle my relationships? He can overcome my sickness? The answer is yes yes yes yes yes! He can. Why do I forget that? He can handle anything I throw at him. For he has the power to raise the dead and to do much much much more than we can imagine. I will see God's glory if I believe Him. Anything is possible if I just believe him. Anything. Not just the little things. Anything.

So tell me, can I trust God and his promises? I can. I can trust a God that has never backed down from a commitment, a God that always fulfills promises, a God that has the power to raise the dead, a God that never leaves, a God that never disappoints, a God that is everlasting, stunning, all powerful and at the same time loving, forgiving, gracious, and giving. He will never leave me like others have. He will never lie to me, He will never hurt me, He will be the rock I have never had. I can trust him with my future.

So today and every day, I will pray like the man in Mark 9:23 "I do believe but help me overcome my unbelief!" Help me believe you God. There is nothing too big for you to handle. I can give you everything without fear of hurt or rejection. You never disappoint me and you will fulfill every promise you have ever made.

Happy Monday! (is there such a thing? haha. kidding...kind of.) love love love, dana


I was emailed this video. Very interesting and powerful. Watch it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoIDjj86fwI