Deeper Still

This past weekend I went to the Deeper Still conference in Orlando, Fla. with my very best friend al, my mom, and her two wonderful friends. It was a really great experience. God taught me so much through Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, and Priscilla Shirer. The Lord really works through these three women. They know the hearts of women and how women perceive this world and our God. I was blown away by the things God taught me this weekend. God is truly a master at teaching every person a different lesson from the same experience.
The main thing I took away from this weekend was to stay in the Word of God. My God has spoken and He need not speak again. All I need to know is in the Word of God. I want to know Christ more and to do that, I will study God's word and make it my life's goal to know those 66 books better than I know anything in this world. It has always been a dream of mine to educate people about God and to inspire others through writing. I hope one day I could be used by God in that way.
Anywho, on the way back I was reading some of Ephesians and I wanted to share my take.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
Ephesians 1:4 (NLT)

Before God even made the world, he knew me. Before he made the world, he knew my story, my life, my mistakes, my mind, my decisions, my struggles, my desires, and my imperfect love for him. Despite all that, before he made the world he loved me. He loved me then and he loves me now. He knew then and knows now the secrets of my heart and loves me infinitely, despite all my failings. I find this amazing. Because I find this so amazing, I find it hard to believe. I find it hard to accept this perfect, irrational love. I think that makes me love Him all the more. I don't understand Him. I love mysteries.
The verse continues on and the next part shocks and amazes me more. Not only did he know and love me before time, but he chose me. HE CHOSE ME. The maker of the ocean, sunsets, puppies, love, mysteries, the stars, heaven, the entire universe: CHOSE me. Me: selfish, unlovable, fearful, insecure, jealous, little old me. He wants me and desires me and he has since the beginning of time. He chose me to be His daughter and enter His royal family. Does anyone else find that breathtaking? unimaginable? yeah, me too. It's a crazy concept but its the truth. So now, I choose Him. I choose to follow Him because it is an honor to love Him. It is an honor to be a part of this family.
And if THAT is not enough, not only does he know me, love me and choose me, but he has chosen me to be holy and without fault in His eyes. whoa.
So, God knows me, loves me, chose me, sees me as holy and sees me without fault. He knows my past, my faults, my sins, and all the secrets I keep and yet he sees me without fault. This is incomprehensible to me. I am certainly not designed to be that gracious. When I know some one else's deepest darkest secrets, it definitely doesn't come natural to see them 'without fault and holy.' Anyone else smelling what I'm stepping in? Could this be fair? Nope. It sure isn't. It's grace. Its a beautiful mystery and I fall deeper in love with Him every day because of who He is.
My human mind does not even comprehend God's love and idea of relationship. His love is more than a feeling, its a force. A force that at times takes my breath away. I never want to lose this gratitude I have for His grace and love.
It is absolutely crazy that in His eyes I am faultless, beautiful, holy, adored, pure, beloved, and complete. God is worthy. He is able.



I would really appreciate prayers this week. I am going to the Medical University of South Carolina for a couple of procedures. Prayers for good results! Love you all!!